September Discussion: As Masons, how do we deal with derogatory comments about others or ourselves?

Because we are human and make mistakes, we don’t always handle these comments well. Ideally, we judge each person charitably and use our best efforts to find a kind explanation for what appear to be negative comments no matter how suspicious we are of their motives.

There are many examples of derogatory comments. Sometimes the facts are false and the comments are told to put down another person. In other situations the facts are true, but told for no positive purpose. An example of a positive purpose: “Be careful if you are considering buying anything from John. He has been convicted of embezzlement three times.” An example of negative purpose (if it is merely tale telling): “Did you hear what he said about you”?

Often derogatory remarks are made accompanied with strong negative emotions such as anger or appear when we thought we had in the past favorably worked through the situation with the other person. When either of those is present, it is difficult but not impossible to respond without getting into an argument or damaging the self-esteem of either or both people.

Ideally we consider several things before judging negatively.

1. How are you thinking and feeling in response to what was said and what does that tell you about yourself?
2. Have you or the person misperceived what happened? Are the details correct?
3. Did the person not think before they acted? Did the person intend harm?
4. Do you know the assumptions behind the person’s comments?
5. Were they under stress or in physical or emotional pain?

As Masons we are admonished to deal with each other on the level. When dealing with a negative remark in an equal relationship, clarify if you heard correctly what was said and then ask, “What prompted you to say that” or “How did you expect me to react to what you said?” Asking this type of question may help you (and perhaps the other person) to understand some of the above questions. Do not preface a question with “why” because the receiver may feel blamed. Also, you may try to tell them about how you are feeling in response to their comments (not what you are thinking because that can lead to an argument and blame). If that doesn’t stop them, sometimes changing the subject will.

If we believe we are being treated as an unequal in a relationship, we are most likely not able to ask these questions or change the subject. That makes it more difficult but not impossible to consider if any of the above questions could explain the derogatory comment and thus help us judge the other person charitably.

April Discussion: What Is a Soul?

LEO musings for April 2009
What IS The “Soul”?

As Masons we refer to the soul and the immortality of the soul. However, I was not sure what the soul meant. When I ask Brothers and others about what their concept of the soul, some said “I don’t know” and others each had different descriptions for the term. Indeed, when I looked in the dictionary, few words are more ambiguous than soul. Yet the concept of the body with an immortal soul is almost universal as is one’s concept of the soul and its relation to ethical decisions.

In this article I’d like to begin to share some things I’ve read which have helped me to better understand what the soul is.

In some early cultures the soul was conceived as an entity, which was the cause or vehicle of bodily life and the physical activities of the person. It was conceived as a spiritual substance in contrast to the material body. A spirit was a disembodied soul; idols and doubles were seen as living bodies; and ghosts or haunters were the spirits (souls) of dead ones. Blood was conceived as the strength of life (cannibalism); the heart as the seat of life (and later as the seat of love); life was breath and the soul was living breath (“and the Lord God formed man from dust, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life and man became a living soul” -Genesis 7); and heat was considered necessary for the soul’s life (because a corpse grows cold). Some early cultures conceived the body’s shadow (visual), and or the persons name (auditory) as the soul. Other cultures believe death does not result in a complete separation of the body and soul. Some cultures believe in the transmigration of the soul to other animals or that the soul even during life may journey abroad (prophets and shaman made use of their souls as messengers to seek information in places far away). In cultures that believed in animism, everything had its’ own power and therefore its’ own soul.

Some cultures believe the soul has power. For example the power to keep the body in life; power to temporarily separate the body and the soul in sleep or trance; power to have the soul in hell and the body on earth; the power of clairvoyance; curative powers such as in suggestion or hypnotism; and or the power to inflict pain.

In the next Further Light I plan to continue to write about other concepts of what the soul refers to.